Synopsis & Script — David Gerstein
Editor — Byron Erickson
Mickey Mouse HISTORY RE-PETES ITSELF 12 pages
Color dusk, nearly full moon; slight glow from distant lightning
Mickey 1: Doggone! This invitation’s darn troubling somehow!
Sound (lightning): RUMBLE!
Mickey 2: A birthday’s a big day! You’re s’posed to want everyone to know it! An’ yet…
Sign: GROG SHOP
Note Letterer, please note — the lettering on the invitation is typed (not handwritten)
Text: Dear Mr. Mouse, you are invited to a birthday party in UTMOST SECRECY. Your presence is all; your being essential. Do not RSVP. Just be at Ninepin Gardens at 7:30 PM. I will see you — I know —
Sound (off): RUMBLE!
Mickey: Half of me wants to turn back! But I’m too curious! Something strange draws me on… transfixing and… interesting…
Pete 1: Transfixin’! Interestin’! Ray-gun-stealin’… dat’s me!
Pete 2: I’m also good at lyin’ — ‘specially when I write invites! My birthday’s really two weeks away!
Sound (gun): JINGLE!
Mickey: P-Pete! What is this…
Pete: Revenge, rat! Fer all thuh times ya’ve jailed me!
Sign (poster): ALTACRAZ 1935
Sound (gun): JINGLE!
Pete 1: I heard dis scientist in a bar sobbin’ ‘bout his Temporary Youth Ray! It makes y’ younger, an’ over two weeks ya grow back ta normal!
Pete 2: Problem is, the ray’s too strong! Ya start th’ two weeks as a baby!
Sound (gun): JINGLE!
Pete 1: I say great! Imagine you bein’ a baby, runt! An’ me usin’ them weeks ta bring you up crooked!
Pete 2: On my birthday, yuh’ll be my partner in crime!
Mickey: Pete, the cops’ll make you cry for this!
Sound (trigger): CLIK
Color bright yellow ray blast
Sound (ray): SKUTTTCH!
Pete: It’s my party! An’ I only gotta cry when I want to!
Color bright yellow ray blast ricochets off mirror and hits Pete
Page 2 cont.
Sound (Pete): WAAA-AAAAH!
Mickey: >Whew!< After that close shave, I oughtta turn Pete in and be rid of him…
Mickey: …but I’m just too fascinated by that plan of his! What if I carried it out — and brought Pete up as an honest man?
Box: So —
Minnie: He’s going to grow into… Pete?
Mickey: In two weeks, Minnie! But he won’t be a crook this time — if we all teach him better stuff to do with his life!
Horace: Keen! I’ll teach him everything about sports, Mickey!
Goofy: I’ve been learnin’ cookery, Mick! I kin teach him whut I know!
Clarabelle: I can teach him to drive! My land, when I think of all the unsafe drivers in…
Minnie: I don’t know... something tells me this whole project is unsafe!
Mickey: Don’t worry, Minnie! It won’t be — if you help me with Pete’s educational knowledge!
Mickey: You know, teaching him stuff he’d normally get at school! If we cover all the bases, things can’t get out of control!
Color bright, psychedelic paint mess on the walls
Mickey: >Gulp!< Or can they?
Box: Comes the dawn, and with it new hope —
Mickey 1: The two-week growth process has begun, Pete! You’re now about four years old!
Mickey 2: Just the age to appreciate the playroom I fixed up — and my old tricycle!
Pete: Tr… tricycle… M-Mickey?
Mickey: Gee, you can talk now! That’s great!
Mickey: But your biking’s not great! I mean, it’s too fast!
Mickey (off): Slow down!!!
Sound (tricycle): SCREECH!
Sound (Pete taking lollipop): SNATCH!
Mickey: Sorry, Patricia! Pete just didn’t know it was wrong!
Patricia: “Pete”? You mean...
Mickey: Yeah! He’s been turned into a kid, but he’s—
Mickey: I don’t know why she did that — really!
Mickey 2: Gosh, Pete… just to look at ya… who could have anything bad to say?
Mickey: Anyway, here’s Minnie — your teacher! At least we know she’s on our side!
Sound: PAT PAT
Minnie 1: Look! Math, history, spelling...
Minnie 2: I’m afraid there’s a reason school usually takes years!
Title (book): LATIN
Title (book): ENGLISH
Title (book): HISTORY
Box: Nevertheless —
Minnie: >Sigh!< I’ll just try to teach you as quickly as I can! Two apples minus one apple...
Pete: You mean — you’ll take one away, Minnie?
Mickey: Yeah! But not for good, Pete! It’s just an example!
Pete: No one takes my apples!
Minnie: >Aargh!< Why’d I use apples as an example?
Minnie: Forget math — time for handwriting! Follow me, and…
Minnie: Mickey, he’s trying my patience!
Page 5 cont.
Mickey: Aw, look, Minnie! Take a break for a minute, if ya hafta—
Minnie: I will! I’m still not convinced reforming Pete is a workable plan, Mickey!
Mickey: Aw, Pete! I can’t be mad at you! We’ll learn this stuff, won’t we?
Box: The next day —
Mickey: You look about ten today, Pete! Just the age to start learning some games!
Sound: BOUNCE BOUNCE
Horace: First, just try to kick the ball, Pete — then I’ll show you the real Horsecollar technique!
Horace: Sufferin’ hoptoads!
Horace 2: !
Sound (ball): SWAT!
Sound (window, big): CRASH!
Baker: You served that up to the kid, Horsecollar! So you pay up!
Horace: >Sigh!< Why did I choose to teach soccer?
Horace: Pete would do better to learn practical jokes, to use on guys like that baker...
Mickey: Forget it, Horace!
Pete: Jokes? Like this one from TV?
Horace 1: >Splut!< So!
Horace 2: It’s a bad influence if I joke, but Pete can—
Mickey: Sorry, Horace! He didn’t mean to — and look! He’s got soccer down, now!
Page 6 cont.
Mickey: You’re gaining skills, Pete! I just wish you didn’t drive everybody crazy!
Color red pepper from Pete’s jar
Box: Another day, another teacher —
Goofy: Yuh add a pinch o’ coriander an’ plenty o’ red pepper — this here’s spicy stuff!
Pete: If you say so!
Sign: CHILI CON CARNE
Sound (pepper): PLOP!
Goofy: Now ta taste it…
Sound (Goofy): WAAOH!
Goofy: >Gurgle!< I said spicy, but I didn’t mean…
Mickey: But Goofy, Pete only did what ya asked for!
Mickey: Poor guy! Nobody understands you’re trying to help!
Color orange plastic cones
Box: The days roll by —
Clarabelle: We’ll pretend the cones are pedestrians, right? It’s an obstacle course — make sure not to hit one!
Sound (cone): SQUASH!
Clarabelle: >SCREECH!< You ran over a “child”!
Pete: I ran over a cone! I just wanted to see how you’d react!
Clarabelle: Bosh! The very idea!
Mickey: Funny... I sorta wondered how she’d react, myself!
Box: Until, as two weeks draw to a close —
Mickey: Listen, guys! Pete’s kept growing since the lessons we gave him — and he’s growing up right this time!
Mickey (whispers): I mean, it’s like I’m his big brother now! And you can’t go wrong with a big brother to help!
Title (book): ROUSSEAU
Title (book): PROOST
Mickey: And now Pete’s birthday is coming up! I’m thinking we should all go camping to celebrate it and his new self! We—
Minnie: No, Mickey!
Mickey: >Huh?< Whaddaya mean…
Minnie: Mickey, no! Maybe you’ve reformed Pete, but he’s still a jinx around us!
Clarabelle 1: Whether he’s six or sixteen…
Goofy: Or eighty-nine!
Clarabelle 2: Or eigh— I mean, think of the horrible things he’s done!
Mickey: B-but that was... as his old self...
Minnie: We’re sorry, Mickey, but we just don’t trust him! And we’re afraid to hang around you as long as he’s with you!
Pete: Mickey, why didn’t the gang wanna be with us?
Mickey: Never mind! They’ll come around! I’m sure they...
Sign (bottle): MINERAL WATER
Sign (can): TUNA
Sign (can): BEEF
Page 8 cont.
Mickey: >Hmpf!< If they don’t need us, we don’t need them!
Pete: Yeah, what’s the big deal anyway?
Box: Shortly —
Mickey: We’re gonna go rowing on Wild River, pal — by ourselves! Maybe we’ll set a new speed record!
Mickey: Heck, you're strong enough to set a record alone!
Mickey: We’ll be immortalized — right on your birthday! So let’s row faster than anybody’s ever rowed!
Mickey: I don’t know what’s around the riverbend! But we’ll only see it if we go... and go and—
Sound (canoe): CRACK!
Mickey: Whoa! That was close! Be a good guy and pull me up, huh, Pete?
Pete: If I wuz a good guy — I might!
Mickey: Aw, Pete! Don’t joke about...
Mickey: If y-you were a good guy?!?
Pete: I got news for ya, punkin — I ain’t good! Never have been, never will be!
Mickey: Oh, for—!!!
Pete: Thought yuh could re-train me from scratch, just ‘cuz I wuz a baby? Dat’s whut I’d assumed about you!
Pete 1: But while th’ youth ray makes yuh look young, it ain’t amnesia! Yer mind stays adult, an’ remembers everything!
Pete 2: I realized it th’ second I got zapped, but hey — yuh thought yuh was bringin’ me up honest! Why spoil yer fun?
Mickey [swearing symbols]
Pete: >Heh-heh!< I’ve been real patient, just waitin’ for a chance to have my fun! And with yer friends gone...
Pete: ...I gotcha! You’ll dangle till that old rotten branch breaks, but I’m jest gonna stand here!
Color bright yellow light from off
Pete: And shut my eyes, waitin’ fer my birthday wish ta come true!
Sound (punch): BLAM!
Pete: >WHUF!< WOT THUH BLUE BLAZES?!
Mickey: I forgot to return the Youth Ray to the scientist you stole it from, Pete! Good thing I brought it along...
Mickey 1: ...just in case! It made the branch younger and stronger, so I could catapult up to you on it!
Mickey 2: Now it’s gonna make you a baby — again! Nice an’ easy to capture!
Pete: In your dreams, brudder!
Pete: I’m gonna #%!* enjoy my special day, if I hafta tear you ta pieces!
Mickey: >Oof!< Leggo, you crazy — >Ow!<
Pete: If only dis moment o’ triumph could go on forever! But all good things gotta end...
Horace: Even birthdays, you big tub o’ lard!
Sound (rolling pin): CLONK!
Clarabelle: The very idea, hurting people like that!
Minnie: We decided to go camping after all — to give Pete one more chance! We were scared, but we couldn’t just desert you!
Goofy: So we drove out ta surprise yuh when yuh came ’round thuh river...
Horace: But I think we all got a few surprises! Didn’t we?
Mickey: I know I did! But I’m too tired to speak for anybody else!
Box: The wheels of justice turn, the birthday boy goes to the pen, and everything drifts into the past! Well, sort of —
Mickey: I dunno! Would I have felt the same fondness for the big lug forever?
Goofy: Yuh mean Pete?
Mickey: Yeah! If I’d never known the truth, would I have kept on liking him, and— ?
Goofy: Gawrsh! You jest stop thinkin’ about it! Yuh know who yer friends are!
1st Voice: An’ I knows who muh enemy is! As always!
2nd Voice: Talking to yourself again, Pete?
Sign: LEAVENWORST PRISON
Pete: Quiet, ya mugs! I’m tryin’ ta make sure I’m right about somethin’! An’ it’s givin’ me a migraine!
Page 12 cont.
Pete 1: I hafta hate him, ‘cause if I didn’t, I might like him! #%&!* An’ I don’t wanna like him!
Pete 2: One day — one day I will get even!
Sound (Hawkes): Z-Z
Sound (Shyster): Z
Lettering on cake: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETE!
End tag: THE END
— the end —